Finding Contentment
If only I could be married, I would be happy.
If only we could make enough to buy a bigger house, I’d be happy.
If only I was hired for my dream job so I wouldn’t have to keep working in this position.
If only I could go to the decorating store and not worry about the budget when I purchase things.
If only we could have a nice, new SUV, like our neighbors, so I wouldn’t be embarrassed about driving this used van.
The Struggle To Be Content
Contentment is not a popular topic today. Perhaps you can relate to one (or more!) of the statements above. It’s hard not to think these thoughts when we have almost been trained to think this way. Our consumer-driven society bombards us with targeted ads and influencers who blur the lines of life content and marketing. We are manipulated with opportunities to buy, purchase, and invest to meet our perceived “needs”.
Admittedly, it was hard to be content long before social media, because discontentment is a sin that has been around since Adam and Eve ate the apple. Contentment is often perceived negatively, because in order to be content, we realize that one must be disadvantaged in some way. We admire contentment in others, but secretly we hope to not be in their shoes ourselves. We focus on the reason for our discontentment, often letting it take over our thoughts and leading to jealousy and worry.
The Path Away From Contentment
My husband and I were recently discussing how discontentment affects the lives of many Christians. We realized, however, that discontentment is never isolated; many times, it comes from selfishness. If I am discontent with the size of my home, it is really because I think that I deserve something bigger and nicer. Another way of putting it is that when we are discontent, we are disagreeing with what God has given to us or asked of us in this season. Yikes!
Discontentment also is the result of a focus on the world, rather than the things of God (Colossians 3:1-4). Possessions, money, cars, riches, and other “stuff” will vanish in the next life. A discontent spirit is consumed with what it doesn’t have, rather than abounding in thankfulness at what God has given. 1 Timothy 6:7-10 says, “For we have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it, either. If we have food and covering, with these we shall be content. But those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap, and many foolish and harmful desires which plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.” A discontent person’s thoughts are only on earthly things, while a content person will be free to serve the Lord with gladness and joy. Discontentment adds grief and robs you not only of peace, but of your desire to serve God! That’s a high price to pay.
Perhaps the worst outcome of discontentment is a false sense of contentment. When Christians are seeking worldly, material treasures and hit an obstacle in their attainment of these things, they often deceive themselves into thinking that they are learning to be content. But instead of learning contentment, they really have only acknowledged their need for contentment, while still focusing on attaining what they want. Once they have it, they move on, quickly forgetting any lesson that they thought they had learned. Discontentment will continue to be a part of their life, affecting their spiritual growth and desire even for God.
The Secret Of Contentment
Discontentment is a sin, but contentment is a virtue. How can we understand this virtue in a culture that literally feeds off discontentment? The secret to a content life is found in complete satisfaction in Jesus Christ. Psalm 107:9 says, “For He has satisfied the thirsty soul, and the hungry soul He has filled with what is good.” Our souls are thirsty and hungry for their Maker, but will not be satisfied by our attempts to fill that need with money, possessions, new jobs or life stages. The simple truth is that we can know God through the Scriptures, and that relationship should bring joy and delight, regardless of circumstances.
Perhaps the most well-known passage that deals with contentment is found in Philippians 4:11-12. Paul wrote, “Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need.” When you look at these verses in light of the context, Paul was responding to believers who have been helping with his needs. Paul was thankful for this, knowing that it was ultimately God taking care of him. This mentality of contentment is not merely for the poor and destitute; Paul reminded the believers that one can learn contentment in any situation, with desires both met and unmet. Just a few verses prior, Paul had written to rejoice in the Lord always (Philippians 4:4) and to live with prayer and thanksgiving rather than worry (Philippians 4:6).
I recently had a situation in my life where I was struggling to be content. As I was journaling and reflecting on the struggle, I realized the relationship that trust and joy have with contentment. It isn’t a virtue that we can isolate! I needed to trust that God was at work in the situation and would provide for my needs, in His timing. I found joy when I remembered the many blessings that I already had, and found contentment in them. My eyes were opened to beauty, goodness, and truth in the midst of the circumstance. I would rather have this peaceful, joyful spirit than be given every earthly item I desire!
So, how can you practice contentment—without resentment, worry, anxiety, or jealousy?
First, confess any discontentment in your situation. Acknowledge what is making you discontent and confess that sin to the Lord and other believers for accountability.
Pray about the situation. Perhaps there is a certain outcome or desire you have; pray about that, but pray more broadly for God’s will. Trust in God as you pray and wait on Him.
Look; be aware of what God is doing. He may not be answering your prayer how you think He should, but He is doing many things in your life! When your eyes are distracted by what you want, you neglect to value what you already have—and this doesn’t just apply to possessions.
Live joyfully! Joy flows from a thankful heart and a satisfied soul. Yes, it is possible to have joy in the midst of whatever challenging situation or circumstance you find yourself in (and if you don’t believe me, Paul said it, not me!).
We read some verses earlier from 1 Timothy that warned of the dangers of discontentment. Here they are again, with the surrounding verses for context:
“But godliness actually is a means of great gain when accompanied by contentment. For we have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it, either. If we have food and covering, with these we shall be content. But those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap, and many foolish and harmful desires which plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.
But flee from these things, you man of God, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance, and gentleness. Fight the good fight of faith; take hold of the eternal life to which you were called, and for which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.” 1 Timothy 6:6-12
What a sobering, and yet motivating encouragement to believers! If your gaze is lingering on the many things you want, perhaps you should shift it to find satisfaction in Jesus Christ. A Christian who is growing in godliness will flee discontentment and pursue a higher, virtuous life—one with more meaning than a discontent, grumbling attitude could ever provide.
Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash
